Learning to See
A Writing Blog About Craft & Creative Process
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"Learning to see is the basis for learning all of the arts."
- Flannery O'Connor |
7 Craft Tips to Strengthen Your Sentence-Level Writingby Joy Baglio
1 - Avoid static and non-visual language, especially where verbs are concerned. Example of what not to do: He is tired, so tired that his thoughts are moving in circles that he can't comprehend, dreaming of the past, reminiscing of how he used to be. Why you should avoid it: Visual language is more engaging and dynamic for any reader, and striving for visual action verbs are a great way to liven up your prose. As Seth Harwood explains in his craft video on Mastering the Power of Verbs, most of our favorite authors are favoring visual action verbs in their writing instead of more static linking verbs (like "to be") and thinking verbs (which aren't very visual). 2 - Recognize and avoid awkward phrasing. Example of what not to do: The question arose of how much patience he thought he'd have, or would have to have, if he was to be of any help, while also helping himself and becoming a decent husband, he used to think. Better: He wondered how much patience he had, or would need, if he was going to help in any way. How could he also help himself? And be a decent husband too? Why you should avoid it: You want the reader's experience to be smooth, and anything that jars the reader out of their suspended disbelief is a problem. The best way to identify awkward phrasing in your writing is to get distance from the piece at hand, then read it aloud and LISTEN for clunky, confusing language and grammatical problems (lack of parallel structure, passive voice, subject/verb disagreement, etc.) Also, the more you read, the more you'll develop an ear for phrasing and syntax. Oftentimes breaking long, confusing phrases into shorter, clearer ideas strengthens the writing and readability. 3 - Avoid simultaneous actions. Example of what not to do: The dog bared its teeth as her hand reached toward its face. Better: She moved her hand toward the dogs face. It bared it's teeth. Why you should avoid it: This construction gives the reader two conflicting actions to visualize at once, and they're often in the wrong chronological order, hence adding to confusion around action/reaction and cause/effect. 4 - Recognize and avoid clichés and stereotypes. Example of what not to do: She was madly in love with him, but if she caught him cheating, she would make sure he ended up dead as a doornail, figuratively speaking of course. Why you should avoid it: It's often easier to use already existing phrases, thoughts, and expressions in our writing, yet that's what gives an overly familiar - or cliche - feeling to the work. The first step to avoiding cliches is to recognize them: They are overly familiar ideas; phrases we've all heard a million times. Sometimes they seem to be the EXACT way your character talks or the exact expression that you need to use, but push yourself beyond this, otherwise your writing will never move beyond what feels common. Don't settle for the first detail or example that comes to mind. Is there a more unusual way of saying something? Be careful, though: Don't make the sentence or idea more confusing in an effort to avoid cliches. The description should always add greater clarity. You're trying to help the reader visualize clearly what you're describing. 5 - Limit adjectives and adverbs. Example of what not to do: Sam flashed an endearing grin and gingerly reached a strong, athletic arm out to give a sturdy pat on his cousins back. Better: Sam grinned and patted his cousin on the back. Why you should avoid it: Adjectives and adverbs can be powerful and work well, though there's often a tendency (especially with beginning writers) to overuse them. The problem with overusing them is that they become jarring on the ear, especially if the added words aren't actually helping the clarity of the sentence. Also, very often what appears to be colorful descriptors actually give a comical or overly exaggerated image to the sentence, and the whole story takes on a cartoony, caricatured feeling which is often not what the writer intends. 6 - Avoid embellished dialogue tags (in excess). Example: "What are you doing?" he bellowed. / "Same as always," she cooed sweetly. Better: "What are you doing?" he asked. / "Same as always," she said. Why you should avoid it: "Said" is often a safer choice for dialogue tags because it flies under the reader's radar and doesn't unnecessarily call attention to itself. The more dramatic and flashy a dialogue tag, the more a reader will be aware of it instead of seamlessly moving along with the story. Also, if you're embellishing your dialogue tags, chances are you're trying to make up for an emotion that's not coming through in the actual dialogue itself. Well-written dialogue will convey emotion and will not need overly flashy tags to broadcast emotion to the reader. 7. Avoid mixed metaphors with confusing, mismatched references and/or images. Example: She stared out the window of her LA apartment building, her anxiety about the approaching meeting stampeded in her like a herd of rhinos on the loose. Better: She stared out the window of her LA apartment building, her anxiety about the approaching meeting settling in her as heavy and think as smog over the city. Metaphors and similes should add clarity to the image you’re evoking. They should also keep us deeply embedded in the scene, as opposed to pulling us away in order to illustrate something. They also should stay consistent to the language, imagery, and setting that the story has been using. Anything other than this is very jarring and ends up pulling the reader out of the story. A misplaced metaphor pulls the reader out of the milieu of the story—gives them a random, often random image—then transports them back to the story. THAT is jarring for a reader. A metaphor/simile should fly under the radar enough so as not to make the reader doubt the author’s control of the story, yet it should communicate something that enhances the imagery of the story, preferably in a way that sheds new (and complex) light on it. Ask yourself why you need a simile or metaphor at this particular place in the story? Is it needed? Is the simile/metaphor interesting enough and clear enough? Does it do something different than just illustrate the obvious? Does it add an element of poetry?
Upcoming Workshops with Joy Baglio:
• The Path to Publishing Your Fiction (Saturday, April 7 in Williamsburg MA). • Creating Tiny Universes: Flash Fiction Intensive (June 1 & June 8, in Wililamsburg MA)
2 Comments
Erica S.
1/31/2019 10:37:46 am
This is so helpful, thank you! Great points to keep in mind regardless of experience. Leave a Reply. |
